Hello, Ms. ladydove7.
Before I go about providing the feedback you mention above, I'm hoping to confirm that you still, in fact, want it.
I appears that you have not posted anything new here for some time, and I understand that often Melpomene goes on vacation for extended periods of time (sometimes never to return); but if you would still like someone to provide constructive feedback on your writing I would be more than happy to do so.